Followup to Surfwise post

Wow. I am happy to report that after watching the film, I still feel the good feeling from it that the concept and interview originally brought, albeit for the nasty beating topic 50 minutes into the movie. Not everyone is a perfect parent. Remember he was raised in the “spare the rod, spoil the child” generation and almost all parents of that era felt it was perfectly normal to spank children. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am totally against any type of physical discipline. I think it is unnecessary and just plain mean. But I am aware that it was very common to discipline your children in that manner just not too long ago and still is in many households.

I still do think that the dad (or “Dorian”) had very intelligent ideas and was trying hard to raise his children in a happy healthy environment. Children thrive on activity like that. They are constantly wanting to play with others and their parents. I can’t imagine having nine children, especially a group of mostly rambunctious boys, all living in small camper without some serious discipline involved somehow to make sure and keep the peace within the family. In one part of the movie it is mentioned someone may have thrown mud or “started a fire” in the bathroom and needed discipline. Now I absolutely disagree with the oldest brother being given that responsibility. That is completely wrong and he should not have been told to do anything like that. He does not deserve the guilt he suffers now or the anger from his younger siblings from doing that as his father should never have made him responsible for that in the first place. But again, if you have a son who is starting a fire in the bathroom, there is some serious discipline that needs to be undertaken for that kind of behavior.

In such tight quarters, there may have been just some authority having to be asserted in just the fact that Dorian may have felt angry “vibes” coming from different children at different times that he had to keep control of, so as not to affect the rest of the children. Please show me an example of a large household of nine children, mostly boys, in which all of them have grown up completely mentally healthy, happy and prosperous. I think it would be difficult to find!

I was touched to see two of the older men working in the surf camp sitting so closely together while talking to the cameraman. How often do you see such closeness and togetherness between any brothers?

I was angered by the fact that one clip from the movie was left out and was seen only in the extras on the DVD. This is of Adam talking about their childhood and how children from “Anytown” America are having very similar problems as they are, whether or not they were raised in a “regular” home or not. This is very true and should have been left in the movie. This was a comment both my husband and I made to each other before we watched the extras and so I was glad to see that he was very aware of that fact himself. I myself know plenty of people who were raised in nice large American homes with all of the luxuries of current American society, with both parents in the home, who are perfectly discontent and went through high school drinking alcohol and taking drugs. I am a prime example of that myself actually. In a small trailer in constant contact with your parents, there definitely is more supervision even with children running around during the day. It is the working family with both parents gone from the home all day long that usually has problems with discipline and monitoring their child’s activity.

I do think that when the kids became older, a larger RV was in order. It is difficult to become a teenager as it is, and space is often needed as well as some privacy while you are trying to figure yourself out. I do agree with the boys that it would have been nice if they had some privacy so as not to experience their father’s healthy sexuality while needing to deal with their own growing needs.

However, I have to say I love the relationship between Juliette and Dorian and I think they are a perfect example of “soul mates.” Actually, I consider Juliette to be the heroine here and major source of love and peace in the family. Although dad had the ideas and kept the rule system it seems, Juliette seemed to be the one who kept the love, music and cuddling going in the family. I think she is awesome! – the ultimate in mother and wife. Many mothers would be drinking themselves silly (or rather, popping little yellow pills these days) with eight boys running around a full-sized house, much less a small camper.

I applaud this woman and her compassion and I lost it completely with tears rolling down my face when she was hugging her last of the nine children (Israel) who finally made it to the family gathering, she was so full of relief and comfort to have all of her children once again surrounding her. I know that feeling and I only have two!

What is sad is that Dorian’s wish to keep his family together was not successful in that they did part ways and have not maintained the togetherness ….

 

I found it irritating and generally unthoughtful that Dorian felt it was okay to talk about his education and yet not give them any, stating he wished they knew the difference between being wise and education, yet they didn’t have the opportunity to experience one of those so how are they to make that determination? Having made that decision for his family, he should have stood firm on his ideas about education and not boasted about his own education to them or anyone.

Isn’t it funny how there is always a sister (or some similar family member) who feels it necessary to give her input on how wrong your ways are and how she would do things correctly? I find Dorian’s sister’s opinions similarly obnoxious as instead of respecting her family member’s parenting decisions, she continually gives her own opinions on how they should have been raised and assumes she is right (or am I mixing in my own family experiences here?). That seems to be a common family dynamic.

I found there was discrepancy between his philosophy and his religious practices, but I just don’t have time for that now. That will have to be a whole new topic of discussion.